The Chav’s Prayer 2012

I saw the original version of this parody, and although it is extremely naughty and far from politically-correct, I thought that it was very clever and surprisingly well-written – no idea who wrote the original, but they have excellent writing skills, which I have tweaked in my version below:

The Chav’s Prayer 2012

Our father, who is in prison,
Mother knows not his name,
Thy chavdom come, thy shoplifting done,
In TXMaxx as it is in Poundland.

Give us this day our welfare bread,
And forgive us our ASBOs,
As we ‘happy slap’ those,
Who give evidence against us.

And lead us not into employment,
But deliver us free housing,
For thine is the chavdom,
The Burberry and the BlackBerry,
Forever and ever, init?